My Challenges as a young mummy
Me at 18 Years old with my first born Lewis
What makes me reflect?
My eldest son is now seventeen and a half years old and it has me thinking, what I was doing at his age.
I was actually pregnant at his age. I was 18 when I actually gave birth to him; I always remember thinking it sounded so much more respectable being 18 at the time.
I look back now at old photos, and I just see how young I really did look, especially to be having a new-born baby.
I could never imagine looking at my son at his age now and thinking, he could be a Father at his age, I really would not want this for him.
Although I was a young mum, which means I can’t preach at him, I think I certainly have the right to advise.
My son has his head screwed on and I cannot imagine him becoming a daddy for quite a few years yet, which is a relief to me as I don’t fancy being a Granny at 36!
My Experience of being a young mum
Being a mum at 18 had its up’s and downs, I had such a supportive family who helped me so much with bringing up a baby, allowing me to still have fun, socialise and even work, so I could buy my son nice clothes and treats.
I know I am luckier than some people are; I have a family who helped me survive being a young mum. I truly do not know how other young mums cope, especially those who do not have the same level of support as I did. I certainly take my hat off to those young mums out there.
When I used to go out with my mum, people actually thought she was the mum not the Nana, I do not know who they thought I was.
What is strange is my son actually looks more like my mums side of the family than I actually do, probably a good thing really ha!
My mum used to love it when people thought she was the Mother of my son and at first, we all joked about it, until it slowly began to eat away at me.
The sad thing was my son actually appeared to love my mum more than he did me, this really did get me down.
My Mum had been so kind to help so much, but in all honesty, I had let her take over. You may well ask why did you let your mum take over.
At the time, not one of my friends had children and they used to go out every Friday and Saturday night without fail, who could blame them.
So when my mum told me to go out with my friends, and on the odd occasion gave me the money to spend, I would not turn her down, would any 18 year old, I ask?
I think a little of me felt cheated in some way, I cannot really say how, but I still wanted to go out with my friends and enjoy myself at least for a little while longer.
Now I understand that I was so young really to have so much responsibility, and I suppose I was still an incredibly immature and a selfish Teenager.
Building a better future
On top of this I began to work at a travel agent, it was a great job allowing me to travel and attend meetings all over the country. I wanted to make some money to allow me to treat my son and give him everything he deserved, a nice house, toys and the best clothes.
Whilst working I was beginning to be away from home far too much, and this is when I began to miss my son even more than I normally did.
Fortunately, I noticed that my son was beginning to miss me as time went by too. He would cry and get upset that I was not around. My mum continued to help me, but I had to take the reins a little and make sure I was around more for my son.
I had to go part time at work; this was the first step to me bonding more with my baby.
This actually changed the dynamics of everything. My son stopped running to my mum as often as he had done before and when he was upset or had hurt himself, he started putting his arms out to me wanting me to pick him up.
Something changed inside of me, not the love because I loved him from the moment I set my eyes on him.
I think what changed was me, I began to grow up and I am so glad I did, because it truly could not have continued the way it was.
So from then on, I truly believe I grew up and became a true Mummy.
If anyone is going through this, I would love to hear from you. Maybe you know someone who is going through this now or just struggling in general.
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18 is very young, but I’m glad you had support.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to have your little boy run to someone else instead of you. Even if it was your mum. I admire young mums, I can’t imagine having a 10 year old now. Although saying that a bank worker thought I was my husbands mum the other day, I was mortified!!
I, like you was pregnant at 17 and actually had 2 beautiful girls by the age of 19! I then went on to have a 3rd daughter at 26 and finally a son at 38. I have never regretted starting my family early. Its true it did have its challenges but I enjoyed every minute of it. I was always maternal and took to motherhood like a duck to water. For me it was no more challenging at 17 then at was at 38. the challenges were just different. Now at 49 I have 9 grandchildren and I am still young and fit enough to play a big part in there lives.
Wow, this is a really good insight into how it is to be a young mum. Really interesting, thanks for sharing!
I was 25 when I got pregnant for the first time and I felt very young then so you did well to cope so well at 18. I think there are pros and cons at whatever age you have children but it sounds to me like you have done a brilliant job. My eldest is 18 and I have been reflecting a lot on his first months and years too, it must be something you do when they reach this age
When they turn 17 & 18 I think that is when the hard work starts. We have started having his Girlfriend staying over on a weekend as she lives over an hour away. This is a whole different other story. My husband is finding it the hardest to cope with and I am scared I am getting too attached and I suppose I treat her like a daughter, as she only looks really young.At 17 you start worrying about them going into the big wide world alone and driving and the thought of becoming a grandparent! If he had a child now he would be the same age as me and that panicks me, hopefully he has his head screwed on! Thnks for your lovely comment and good luck with your 18 year old.
Yes, you were young but you took advice and welcomed support and you did a great job so well done!
Hey lovely lady, What a great job you’ve done be proud, 18 is young but not super young you read in the newspapers about a lot younger well done for carrying on and accepting support x
Thank-You for sharing your story. As you say you were young when you had your son. You were lucky to have the support of your family. It seems they allowed you to mature, and have a life. You managed to decide what were your priorities. Nice that things turned out well for you. Your son, and family will be proud of you. As you seem to have your own identity, whilst being aware of the various aspects of your life, Mother, Daughter etc. Well Done!
I struggled when I became a mum at 25. I found it a lot harder than I thought it was going to be and I was still very selfish. I have grown up a lot over the last few years and really praise young parents for the amazing job they do.
Sounds like you did a great job and you worked really hard for you and your son to have a great life, you should be very proud of yourself xx
I Became pregnant with my 1st baby at 19 unfortunately I lost my baby I had 4 mc and then went on to have my rainbow baby at the age of 21. You have gone on a great journey x
I have since had a daughter at the age of 23 I found my son easier as I had several problems with my daughter including PND
Wow what a journey. And what a nerve it touched for me. I was 16 when I had my first son. He is now nearly 7 and him and his little brother are my entire life. Thank you for linking up to #Anby x
What a journey, i have huge admiration that not only were you a young mum, But that you forged a Work/life balance that worked for you. Oth. I struggled in my 30s to adjusT!