My Challenges as a young mummy
What makes me reflect?
My eldest son is now seventeen and a half years old and it has me thinking, what I was doing at his age.
I was actually pregnant at his age. I was 18 when I actually gave birth to him; I always remember thinking it sounded so much more respectable being 18 at the time.
I look back now at old photos, and I just see how young I really did look, especially to be having a new-born baby.
I could never imagine looking at my son at his age now and thinking, he could be a Father at his age, I really would not want this for him.
Although I was a young mum, which means I can’t preach at him, I think I certainly have the right to advise.
My son has his head screwed on and I cannot imagine him becoming a daddy for quite a few years yet, which is a relief to me as I don’t fancy being a Granny at 36!
My Experience of being a young mum
Being a mum at 18 had its up’s and downs, I had such a supportive family who helped me so much with bringing up a baby, allowing me to still have fun, socialise and even work, so I could buy my son nice clothes and treats.
I know I am luckier than some people are; I have a family who helped me survive being a young mum. I truly do not know how other young mums cope, especially those who do not have the same level of support as I did. I certainly take my hat off to those young mums out there.
When I used to go out with my mum, people actually thought she was the mum not the Nana, I do not know who they thought I was.
What is strange is my son actually looks more like my mums side of the family than I actually do, probably a good thing really ha!
My mum used to love it when people thought she was the Mother of my son and at first, we all joked about it, until it slowly began to eat away at me.
The sad thing was my son actually appeared to love my mum more than he did me, this really did get me down.
My Mum had been so kind to help so much, but in all honesty, I had let her take over. You may well ask why did you let your mum take over.
At the time, not one of my friends had children and they used to go out every Friday and Saturday night without fail, who could blame them.
So when my mum told me to go out with my friends, and on the odd occasion gave me the money to spend, I would not turn her down, would any 18 year old, I ask?
I think a little of me felt cheated in some way, I cannot really say how, but I still wanted to go out with my friends and enjoy myself at least for a little while longer.
Now I understand that I was so young really to have so much responsibility, and I suppose I was still an incredibly immature and a selfish Teenager.
Building a better future
On top of this I began to work at a travel agent, it was a great job allowing me to travel and attend meetings all over the country. I wanted to make some money to allow me to treat my son and give him everything he deserved, a nice house, toys and the best clothes.
Whilst working I was beginning to be away from home far too much, and this is when I began to miss my son even more than I normally did.
Fortunately, I noticed that my son was beginning to miss me as time went by too. He would cry and get upset that I was not around. My mum continued to help me, but I had to take the reins a little and make sure I was around more for my son.
I had to go part time at work; this was the first step to me bonding more with my baby.
This actually changed the dynamics of everything. My son stopped running to my mum as often as he had done before and when he was upset or had hurt himself, he started putting his arms out to me wanting me to pick him up.
Something changed inside of me, not the love because I loved him from the moment I set my eyes on him.
I think what changed was me, I began to grow up and I am so glad I did, because it truly could not have continued the way it was.
So from then on, I truly believe I grew up and became a true Mummy.
If anyone is going through this, I would love to hear from you. Maybe you know someone who is going through this now or just struggling in general.