If you’ve recently had a new addition to your family, the chances are you’ve probably experienced a lot of big changes in your life. Your sleep pattern, daily schedule, relationship, and time spent alone are all affected, as is your sex life. Many new parents can sometimes struggle to cope with the sudden lack of intimacy and sex, but having kids doesn’t mean you have to give up on your sex life. Having intimacy and sex is an important part of a relationship, so if you want to continue being happy and healthy together, it makes sense to maintain your sex life.
It’s more common than you might think for new parents to have less sex. Studies have shown that many new parents have sex only once every few months. Changes to your sex life can occur during a relationship but will often be accelerated by having children. The reasons are usually hormonal changes as well as changes in schedules and free time. Luckily, there are steps you can take to maintain your sex life and continue to develop a healthy bond with your partner after having children.
Introduce Something New
Introducing something new and shaking things up a bit is a great way to make sex more enjoyable. If you’ve just had kids, then chances are you’re more worried about having enough free time, but it’s possible that you’ve also become too used to a standard routine. By introducing something new such as a sex toy or a different way of doing things, you can spice things up a bit. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but something that you’re both comfortable with and that interests you.
Have a conversation about what you like and what you’d like to add to make your sex life more exciting again. As you learn more about each other and what you like, you may be interested in putting some of these new ideas into practice. A large part of arousal is mental, and sometimes just talking about sex can help to get things going.
Make Time for Each Other
Making time for each other is one of the most important aspects of maintaining your sex life. When you’re both busy with work, household duties, and looking after children, it can be difficult to make time. However, you should do your best to give each other some time together to enjoy each other’s company.
If you’re able to find childcare, going out on dates together is really helpful too. It can be difficult to organise, so don’t worry if you can’t. The important thing is to spend time together and enjoy just being intimate, touching, cuddling, talking, and enjoying each other without necessarily having sex. If you can make a habit out of spending time alone together, you’ll have a much better chance of maintaining a healthy sex life.
Consider Couples Therapy
Even if there isn’t anything wrong with your relationship and you’re both happy together, therapy can help smooth out any potential issues and help you spend time understanding one another. Of course, not everyone can afford to go to therapy, but there are lots of different options available depending on your needs.
There are even online courses specifically tailored towards new parents and how to rekindle your sex life. By talking to each other and learning from a therapist, you can both gain an insight into why your sex life is struggling and how to restart it. In many cases, hearing an outside perspective can really help to see things in a new light and help if you’re struggling.
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