Parenting: When your Teenager asks for their Girlfriend/boyfriend to stay the night. What do you do when your teen wants to have their Girlfriend/boyfriend spend the night in your house?
Growing up as a teenager, me and my two sisters were not allowed to have boys stay the night. We all found this a pretty old fashioned rule and we never really understood it back then. Now I have a teenager myself I can understand why my father had this rule, obviously he was going to be protective of his daughters.
I have a teenage son who has just turned 18, time has flown so quickly, it feels like one minute he was sitting on my knee giving me a cuddle and now he is asking for his girlfriend to stay overnight.
What type of parent am I?
When my son who was at the time 17 years old asked if his girlfriend could stay the night, I will admit I was a little unprepared for the question.Of course I was not overjoyed by the thought of my son having a girl staying the night and especially not in the same room! Unfortunately, as I do not have a spare room in my house I did not have the luxury of giving his girlfriend a room of her own for the night.
I am also a realist and realise that whatever parents ban, most teenagers will think of ways to get around them and normally succeed.
My conscience however did struggle with the fact that If I am aware of them sharing the same room am I actually condoning this new stage of their relationship. If I made my son sleep on the sofa and his girlfriend have his room, I would be kidding myself if I thought some sneaking about would not be going on in the middle of the night. I had to ask myself, if putting them in separate rooms and pretending that they would stay in separate rooms, would this make me feel better about the situation, does allowing them to sleep in the same room and even the same bed make it feel more wrong than the alternative, ignorance ? to be honest yes, a little bit.
I was and still feel quite shocked at how liberal and understanding I have behaved and dealt with this situation. At the beginning I wanted to scream out “Noooo you can not have your girlfriend stay over”,this partly due to the thought of losing him to another after all he is my little boy still!
Why I agreed
There was two main reasons why I agreed to my son having his girlfriend stay over and the main reason was because she lived just over an hour away.To arrive here in the morning and only spend a few hours at our house, before she would be setting off again seemed silly because they would not get much time together.
To be honest if your son or daughter really wanted to get up to anything they would and it can happen anywhere and at anytime of the day.
My second reason is due to the fact I was a very young mum and by the age he is now I already had a baby so I am not really in the best place to judge or preach and he is so much more mature and level headed than I was at 18.
I think it is such a hard thing to plan in advance as you can not pre-plan when it will happen or just what your reaction will be.
You may well be a really relaxed parent around rules and take it in your stride or it may just be something you struggle far too much to cope with and just cannot allow it to happen in your home.
Whatever you decided just keep your cool and stay open minded. Parents and teens will most likely be very embarrassed approaching the subject, just keep your line of communication open and you won’t go far wrong.
Remember there is no right or wrong answer or decision, it is a family issue, you may be happy for their boyfriend/girlfriend to stay over or you might find a happy medium giving them separate bedrooms.
Have you had experience of your son or daughter wanting their girlfriend or boyfriend to stay the night?
Please share your experiences to help other parents who might be struggling and could use advice from other parents who have already gone through this.
im only 22 so no teenage kids here! my current boyfriend (& father of my two children) lived a 2 hr walk away (neither of us drive) and my dad let him come up for the evening but he wasn’t allowed to stay. my dad went to bed relatively early as he had to be up for work at 6am and my boyfriend used to stay til 3am then sneak out before my dad got up. we lived in a bungalow and my room was right down the hall from the front door and my dads was on the other side of the house so he never knew. i definitely agree with “they will find a way anyway”. i think when my children are older too, I’ll probably see it like you!
My mum and dad never allowed the father of my son to stay over either he had to leave by 10pm. I was a mum of two at 22 too both planned and loved.
I think considering the circumstances that the girlfriend lived further away, it would be unreasonable to not let her stay over. I still don’t know about staying in the same room but that’s true, they’ll get around it if you had him stay in another room! I’ve actually discussed this with my husband before even though are kids aren’t teens yet but if the girlfriend/boyfriend, (we have both a son and daughter) needed to stay over due to a late night from a trip or if they live long-distance, we would most likely allow it, too. I think in every parent’s own situation, you need to take into consideration if the child is level-headed (like you mentioned your son is). Great post and sharing to my blog’s FB page 🙂
As a step pArent i have rules my tee step DAUGHTER argue the fact that it is not disrespectul in any kind of way for her boyfriend to stay in her room all nigHt towards me.hmmm but i say it is i cant contr what you do when you are not here say at your maw maws or at his place but in my home i can control the outCome . If i allow it once i mi as well allow it all the time . But i have more respect For her as my daughter than she does for her on self . So i see it as what if this was her teenage daughter how wou she feel about a guy in the bed with her? If she cared About her? Am i wrong to feel this way?
I was lucky after 10 years together they now live together and both very happy. I now have a spare room 🙂
I’ve been on the opposite side of this, as a 14 year old hopelessly in love with an older boy I can imagine it was a really difficult situation for my mum. Luckily we have an amazing relationship and sat and set some ground rules out. He slept in the spare room till I was 16, afterwards he was allowed to sleep in my room. If it’s going to happen anyway you definitely approached it in the best way. My older boyfriends still around 7 years later and it seems funny now looking back 🙂
My son is only a baby so i`m a long way off this yet but I think I would allow it, like you say they will find a way to do whatever they’re going to do regardless and I’d rather they were somewhere safe and sensible!
Gosh that’s a tough one. I’d been away to university before I asked if I could bring someone home – it was my mother that asked if we wanted the same bed. I seem to remember I found it acutely embarrassing at the time.
That’s tough. My daughter is 5 now and I have no idea how I feel when she’s a teenager but it is something that I’ve thought about. I like to think I would be as relaxed as I could be and agree. I know what I was up to away from the family home when I was that age and I’m not naive enough to think she won’t so I would rather she was safe at home. That may well change in 12 years time though!
What a dilemma – oh I now feel so bad for my parents 🙂 I only have a toddler so far so I won’t need to think of this for a while but like you said, time soon creeps away doesn’t it! My parents had the same view that they’d prefer to have some knowledge than none at all. Mim @ http://www.mamamim.com #RetroBlogPosts
Oh I can imagine this must be a tough one – my little ones ares still tiny so I have a while before I have to consider this kind of question. My parents allowed me to have my boyfriend stay over as a teenager after we had been together for a couple of months – I was 17 at the time. I think with several older siblings though, they’d become used to having boyfriends/girlfriends staying over for a while and were more relaxed #RetroBlogPosts
As a parent of a 16 year old young man with a serious girlfriend I let the two of them have occasional sleepovers. I am trying to raise a kind, sensitive, thoughtful man, and the intimacy of sleeping is part of that equation. They became sexualy active after about six months together. The conversation about birth control was had almost daily. condoms PROVIDED, specific details about the pull out method discussed. open honest conversation between and mother and son about sexuality is in my opinion what is going to make him a good husband, father and champion of women in general. sneaky, forbidden sex is not what i want him to know or believe in. respect, kindness, are my two biggest goals to teach in whatever forum they need to be applied to. i did read a comment someone posted about making sure there child did not completely lose themselves in the relationship and i agree with that. we talk about continuing to spend time with his friends fishing and doing the things he loves. certainly first relationships are full of insecurity and tendencies to control each other so this is also part of the discussion we have. my relationship with my son is a source of comfort for me. he trusts me with the good and the bad things. i doubt myself sometimes. certainly no kid comes with instructions. but i hope i am doing right. just following my gut.
I love this reply. I am in this process with my daughter. Definitively open communication is the most important part. I grew up in a very conservative environment with lots of prohibition and guilt inducing paradigms. I don’t want her to live like that.
Responsibility and empowering to make strong and reasonable decisions is the key! THX for this.
I wish my parents did this, im 17 and have had a boyfriend of 2 years when my dad found out I was on birth control he didn’t speak to me for a week and when he did he called me a slut. My mum says horrid things too, I asked for a sleepover tonight which isn’t the first time I’ve asked but it’s been a while and I thought we were getting along but it turned into a huge argument and I feel so trapped, it’s either them or my love life it feels like they say I’m abandoning them when I meet friends or my boyfriend I don’t know what to do. I have anxiety depression aswell and my boyfriends house is a safe place… which I’m not allowed into because they say im bullying them how do I change there minds??
I wish your parents could have been a little kinder to you even if they disagree they don’t have to emotionally bully you calling you nasty and harmful names. I would love to hear if things changed for you. I think staying at your boyfriends home if it feels a safe place is the best way forward.
Thank you for this. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this as I head into this same conversation. Wondering how you and your son have fared two years later…
Good luck!
Actually really great. He now has a beautiful apartment with his girlfriend and they are very happy. They have been together now for 9 years so all good.
Im dealing with this right now. My 19 year old is home for the summer and been watching tv in bed WITH his Girlfriend. That ac how I met her! We never talked about it and bare knew he had a g. We SHOULD have set rules but it all happened so fast. Now we are in a quandrum. Its really uncomFoRtable bc we have a 12 yo in the mext room. We also have older daughters who mever did this. We are all angry right now.
My sons girlfriend has now moved in!
Wow! I’M SURE HER FAMILY ISN’T A FAN OF YOURS RIGHT NOW. mY SON IS 22 AND STAYING AT HIS GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE MORE THAN HE IS AT HOME. I’M HAVING A HARD TIME DEALING WITH IT. i CAN’T IMAGINE MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS ALLOWING BOYFRIENDS TO SLEEP IN THEIR HOMES WITH THEIR DAUGHTERS?? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING! i DON’T GET IT. mY MOTHER WOULD NEVER AGREE TO THIS WHEN i WAS YOUNGER! wHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS WORLD TODAY! i KNOW WHAT IT IS: iT ALLOWS THESE MOTHERS MORE CRAP TO PUT ON FACEBOOK AND OFFERS MORE DRAMA .WHICH THEN GIVES THEM MORE CRAP TO PUT ON FACEBOOK wHAT A VICIOUS CYCLE YOU’RE ALL IN!
Whats wrong with pare these days? They dont set BOUNDARIES anymore with their kids. They are children.
The world is changing though what your mum didn’t let you do is changing, most people lost there virginity as a teen and parents did not know, wouldn’t you rather it safe than in a Bush somewhere
love this response. At least I know my son is safe.
How does this make them safe? Being in y our own home doesn’t make them “safe!” It just makes it happen under your roof with your consent!!! I don’t Get it, please Explain. My daughter is 16 and asking if her boyfriend can stay the night if they’re still together when they’re 18 and it’s a hard “NO!” It’s no safer in my home than a car, imo!
We have open communication, talk about contraceptives, we’re not naive but, there is something about staying the night that screams consent to allow risky business.
Imo, there is no reason for Anyone to spend The night unless they’re an out of town guest and if “he” is, I stay up real late. They will both be asleep before i hit the hay. Until there is a ring on her finger, big fat nope. I don’t care to be a “cool” mom, I want her to know it sends the wrong message to allow a man to share your bed without a commitment.
Before I get a lot of slack, i am no fool. I did my fair share of acting up. I skirted all the ways i could to do all the things i wanted. I was lucky to not get pregnant and have to make that decision. There is nothing making a boy responsible for a pregnancy unless they’re commited to one another. I dont want that for my girl. I cant help what she does on her own after 18 but, I can help what she is allowed to do under my roof.
I appreciate your response and thoughts on the subject. I feel it is a very personal preference and no one is wrong or right. I think my reasons for saying safe is because I feel if you completely ban something then a teen, well some teens will go out of there way to rebel and I wouldn’t want them taking unnecessary risks for instance in a car and not having protection or as drastic as it sounds getting arrested.
THANK YOU!! Most SENSIBLE reply ever!!
I understand your concern as his mother but he’s over the age of 18, he’s an adult so with or without your consent he can do as he pleases however, what you can do and control is how you react to the situation, it a scary situation but you need to understand and trust him, you can’t control what he does but you can choose to be there for him, to be a shoulder to cry on and a mother to confide him, he’s over 18 now your job isn’t to control him or guide him but to give him love and advice, sex is no longer a taboo subject & This is a very old fashioned way of thinking. a study was done at yale university (which was also carried out again by a psychiatrist in 2013) showed that 16 – 18-year-olds were almost twice as likely to become pregnant when their boyfriend or girlfriend wasn’t allowed to stay over. they also discovered that when their relationship wasn’t been taken seriously enough the bond of the family were more likely to come very loose and severed. I hope you and your son has worked things out and I also hope that in the way that you wish to be respected as a mother and adult you respect him as your son and as an able adult
Yikes, theyre adults. You might not like it but He wIll end his relationshIp with you if you keep acting like this. If her parents are okay with him coming and trust them both, then maybe you should reevaluate your rules.
No distance between the two houses for our two 17 year old love birds. But we were brought up with the ‘not under our roof’ attitude, and respecting family values. I feel like a dinosaur saying “not in our day”, but wanted to keep some level of control and family values intact. Now we keep getting the question why, why, why… when he sleeps over at her’s without question.
A quandry. Statemate.
After reading some replies here I think we will eventually compromise and let her stay over. They have been together 5 months. So I think after the summer holidays is the right time for us. Not an easy decision at all, but it somehow seems right. One thing to keep an eye on though is not allowing one night to turn into 3-4 nights a week – we certainly don’t want a lodger, so we need to agree that up front. Maybe when 18 it will be Uni and not an issue. Wish me luck 🙂
I wish you look
My sons girlfriend has now moved in with us so everything worked out in the end. I wasn’t allowed boys in my room let alone stay over ever!
Ugh I’ve been with my boyfriend for 19 months and sleepovers are still not allowed my mum tells me stories of her teenage life with boys over and sex but screams at me for kissing my boyfriend im so stuck I just want to be seen by her as a daughter not a slut
I have a son who does not work or pay any Bill’s and hez 18 . He barows my car and brings girls home to have sex smokes pot and pays nothing. Im.really not happy and I want him to move out . If you fuck eat live like and adult get your own place
My daughter is 16 and thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to ask me if the guy we (her dad and I) met today can sleep over. She is out of her mind and the answer was no. She advised me that all her friends let guys sleep over and I explained that our family has different values than they do. In.our home we do not meet a guy the same day that he sleeps over for the first boy sleepover at our house. Kids these days have parents who allow waaay too much and too soon. My situation is much different than this but I will definately not allow a boy sleeping here ever. Once she’s 18 she can go rent a place if she feels like it and have whoever over. Our family home has other children and there must be a level of respect in the family home.
I completely understand why you would have said no to that request too. You sound like a lovely loving family with fantastic morals
thats my take on it as well, if pay for everything, even if i didn’t, i think its crazy how a person who can not afford to survive on their own feels he has the right to do what ever he thinks is right or ok. my house, my rules (no matter how “weird” they may be) I’m a single parent so it;s even harder to instill basic values of respecting your parents wishes. it seems to be a constant battle. hanging out all day is one thing, but allowing them to spend the night, in my opinion, is the same as telling them its ok to have sex. kids will do what they want, yes, but as a parent its our duty to try instill what we feel is right and what is wrong. I don’t know maybe I’m old fashion, but i thnk that once they move out then they can make their own decisions on who spends the night and who does’t. if you, as are ok as a parent in letting your child spend the night at their Bf/gf or visa versa, then go for it. But I’m not ready to support him his gf and their potential child. I guess it comes down to if you feel better knowing what goes on in your house, or being oblivious to it. since the reality is they will do what they want, but as a parent all we can do is tell them how we feel, teach them what we belive is right and wrong and pray they use what you taught them in everything they do.
I think this is a very interesting topic. I have
four children two boys (26 and 24) and two
girls (19 and 14). I don’t like the practice
of having boyfriends or girlfriends stay over.
It wasn’t something that I would’ve even dared
ask my parents to let me do. Like others have
expressed, there are some practices left to
adults. In my family of origen, my brothers
were allowed to bring their girlfriends to
stay over and even move in. I don’t think the
practice did them or the girlfriends any good.
Surprise, surprise my older brother had four
children with three different women. He
learned that sleeping around and having kids
was not a big deal. He went from woman to
woman. My younger brother is on the third
of his live-in girlfriends. Hasn’t had any
children, but just moved in the last of his
girlfriends and her three children from two
different men in with my retired
parents. I can’t imagine the stupidity of
allowing such a situation. To me, it is
tantamount to elder abuse and morally, I do see
it as parents opening the door to hell for their
kids. There are some rights and privileges
that I think should be reserved for marriage.
So I would say “no” to the sleepovers. I know
others feel differently, but I haven’t seen it work.
Growing up my best friend’s mom allowed her
older sister’s boyfriend to stay over and they
too, conceived children out of wedlock. The
boyfriend turned out to be a psychopath and
his family was dangerous and the whole
family had been exposed to them. They ended
up having to move out of town to save their
family. (I’m not yelling but for some reason this is in all caps).
This is just what I needed to hear! My 19 year old son is home from college and is hanging out with a girl he met in college that lives pretty close by. He also told me he told her he doesn’t want to get into a relationshio but yet theyre hanging out and he spent the night at her house and told me he slept in her bed but didn’t have sex, they just “cuddled”. I told him i disapporved of that and found it not good that her mother would allow this. SO what does he do? the nught i told him i disapproved of this he brings her to our house with both my husband and i home and tells her its ok to sleepover and they crawl in his bed together! I was livid! i had to work the next day my sleep was interrupted, the dog was barking as there was a strangert in the house. this is so unlike my son. i was in shock texting him to get her out of my house and hes texting me they they arent doing anything but sleeping and for me to quit texting him. so i had a conversaton with him and said no sleeping together in the same bed – i did bend the rule and say she could sleepover if its late but not in the same bed and not when its a work night for me. so he asked last night if they could come back to the house for ahile and watch tv – i said of course then he comes in my bedroom asking if she could sleep over when i text him and told him she couldnt. when i reiterated that it she could not sleep over he started pushing back and we got into it. i text him after and said my house my rules she is not to sleep over on a work night. and to never stand in my bedroom and aruge with me ever again! they will be back at college in 2 weeks so they will be doing what they want anyway, but not in my house. he told me im old fashioned. my husband just chuckleded and said yeah hes at the age. and in the meantime hes sleeping while y son is going at it and sending text about it. uggh. im sticking with my gut that i want no sleepovers
You’re not old fashioned, you just have some common sense! Our 19 yr old daughter (who lives at home) cannot understand why we won’t let her sleepover at her boyfriend’s house. this is her first serious boyfriend, and she thinks that since she’s over 18 she should be allowed to do whatever she wants. I know that “kids’ will find a way to have sex no matter what, but allowing her to stay over is condoning it, in my opinion. what message does that send to her 16 yr old sister? unfotunately, i’m finding no other solution than to tell her to move out if sleeping with her boyfriend is that much of an issue. i really don’t want her to move, but she’s leaving no other choice.
My daughter is almost 17. Her boyfriend just turned 19 and lives 3 hours away. We let him stay at our house in a seperate room, he wants her to visit him 3 hour away. We have driven there and stayed with family, and she has not been allowed to stay at his apartment. This last weekend he got upset and asked us why we don’t allow it. He said he will keep her safe, and we have nothing to worry about.
I feel torn, because he is good to her, and I know they have had sex because my daughter tells me everything. I can’t prevent them from having sex. I also don’t want to contribute to them having sex.
A friend of mine, let’s her daughter drive to her boyfriend’s apartment on the weekends. What are your opinions?
Very interesting points here! My daughter and her boyfriend have asked me several times if they can sleep over. Today they told me his grandma asked for them to come over this weekend and they want to spend the night. She has separate bedrooms, but I know for sure they would sleep together. They are already having sex and on birth control. I feel that even if I say no they will sneak around and find a way to finally have a sleep over. At the same time, I don’t want to be the one to say “sure” knowing his parents are 100% against it.
I’m at this crossroad now. Our son 18 has asked if his girlfriend 16 can spend the holiday at our place. We have only met her once but he said THEY’VE been texting and reconnected in her hometown over the summer. At first i thought ok, but i couldn’t Quit thinking of her age. This alone was enough for me to change my Mind. I couldn’t imagine having to live with my role in allowing them to make decisions at their age that could have potentially negative effects for the remainder of their lives.
Im a daughter of strict parents, my boyfriends family is completely fine with me staying over but my parents are utterly against it and make me feel like an idiot for even asking im 17 and we’ve been dating for nearly 2 years. I live far away so it’s hard to constantly travel and his brother has his girlfriend over since he was 16 I feel like im letting him down and any time I ask my parents they slap it back in my face, I wish they were as nice as you. I feel trapped and unable to speak to them about anything because they won’t even listen to my side of the story
What you permit you promote.
love this, goes with what you allow is what will continue
AHH short and to the point! i am doubting myself not to allow the speepovers and need affirmation in my decision that its a no!!!
thank you!!!
I absolutely Love This response!!!! Well said, simply put!
I am in a very difficult situation. My 17 year old grandson has had to move in with me as there is no way he can live with his parents ( for valid reasons not his fault). He has a girlfriend who lives 15 minutes away. He has been staying over at her house for days and nights on end. Her mother thinks it’s fine and I have found out she has now let them have a bed together.
I think that staying over all those nights is too much.. We had a big fallout and he tells me I am being intrusive and he wants freedom to do what he wants & will let me know when he’s coming back. I di his washing, ironing etc .. throw loads of food away because he doesn’t come home to eat it. I tried to speak to the girl’s mother who shrieked that she trusted them implicitly & IF I had a problem just stop him coming. Well that’s not going to happen as he really feels it is his right to tell me what he’s doing. Regardless of what I say. It got to the point I told him to pack his stuff because he was living there anyway but he said he couldn’t officially move in. So basically my house is just a storage place for all his things. Inside I am seething but am at a loss atm.
Did you consider the wishes of her parents in tour decision? If they disapproved, would you haVe still allowed her to Sleep woth your son inder your roof?
Yes of course. I spoke with her mum over the telephone and invited her to my home.
I have a 16 year old son that I have raised on my own I was 25 when he was born my first and I have remembered all those things I said I would not do, when I was a kid, to my kids when I got older and to my parents and pretty much everyone I was have held true to all but a couple things I remember saying like this as a kid (really good memory) those couple things as an adult were very clear I couldn’t understand back then. So remembering so well as a kid how I thought things should be Has made me and my son’s relationship a tough balancing act between being father and sole parent to being what most would say being a friend to him (I don’t suggest trying this unless God blessed you with huge amount of patience, lucky he did me) so at 16 With his first serious girlfriend that’s 13 some how it slipped by me that she was staying almost every night. I hate being a hypocrite and having a living girlfriend for two years prior to this I kind of look the other way for a short period. I work pretty obvious her mother that was her on my parents didn’t seem to care but the first time after a month off and on staying at my house or at hers she said no one night so I thought about it and told my son no not anymore even if her mom said it’s okay. No the most important thing about this that everyone should think about is that they were allowed a chance to play house and show that they will mature enough to handle it but they weren’t dishes left in the room all the time never get anything around the house just all kinds of things that it too people are living together at any age it should be doing or starting to do taking responsibility or starting early playing at a family with no kids (praying on that everyday ) and that’s exactly what I told him when he didn’t understand why he could do it before and not anymore and then they could do whatever anywhere else during the day and I continue to tell him and have continued him the English very obvious that they were not ready for the commitment that is required for two people to sleep in the same room in the same bed together as a family and that maybe after I see some maturing and both of them being more responsible they may get another chance but they will have to demonstrate that they have grown enough and remain that way for awhile because I want him to really under the commitment he is making so he doesn’t ever take staying the night in the same room in the same bed with someone he cares deeply for as lightly as he did the first time. So if you let you kid have there significant other stay with them look at it as a test and see if they’re prepared to do everything else a married couple starting a family in their own home would do, if there not then this is the most real way to say no and for them should be easy to understand and believe because they can’t deny that it was a real world t est they are not ready for. If the are good for you you have raised great kid to young adulthood.
What great advice for not only myself but all the readers. I have been very lucky my son now lives with his girlfriend. Both are each others first loves and my son is now 26 and they have been together nearly 10 years. It worked for me but I did take a risk having his girlfriend stay over then live with us whilst she was at university sharing the same room and bed but for me and them of course it worked.
Hello,
I have to disagree with some of your points and I’m going to say why in the hopes that you, or a reader, can help with additional advice or help me understand your points.
My 15-year-old sent me this article in hopes of convincing me to let him have his girlfriend stay the night. My parents never would have entertained the idea of letting a girl stay the night but their reasons were much different. One being religion and two, past family issues. In my youth, I’ve done far worse than my own teen. I’ve snuck out to stay the night at a girl’s house, and I’ve snuck a girl in once or so. That doesn’t mean I lose my right to expect differently from my teen. That was one of your points. Another thing you said was, teens will find a way somehow, and somewhere. My own story above proves that I have many other stories of how that is true. That still doesn’t mean we should be “chill” about. The only logical reasoning I read from your article is the distance thing. My son’s girlfriend lives a 10-minute bike ride. Had it been from somewhere further, then I think we would have had a different conversation. I’m saying these things though because I wanted to point out some flaws. We allowed him to get his ears pierced because my wife said, “He’s going to do it anyways.” I hate that excuse and I think it allows for much worse behavior. Go ahead and let him smoke… he’s going to anyways or go ahead and give him a beer. He’s gonna drink anyways. See where this “point” doesn’t work? Granted, I was drinking with my friends at 16 behind my parents’ back. So, we are back to they are going to do it anyways. Does that mean I should crack a beer for my son? No of course not. I have to be the parent and stand my ground despite my own past.
If my parents allowed me to have my girlfriend stay the night and, in my room, things would have happened. If they told me to stay in the living room, I would like to think I’d stay in the living room in the attempt to keep the privilege alive, but also being a dumb teenager, I might have tried hard to sneak. But separating the two provides guidelines to teens that their parents have limits and have set a boundary. It is up to the teen to learn to respect those limits otherwise the loss of privilege occurs.
Any advice or should I just stick to my own opinion and tell him no? Not meaning to do a double standard but I wouldn’t want my daughter to stay the night at any boy’s house ever. I’m honestly surprised that my son’s girlfriend’s parents are okay with it.
Nope!
My parents Would have said no & so will i. I have 3 sons.
Im ENCOURAGING purity not promiscuity.
iF MUM AND DAD ARE KEEPING THEIR TEENS BY: PROVIDING A ROOF OVER THEIR HEAD, FOOD ON THE TABLE, $ IN THEIR POCKET AND PUTTING THEM THROUGH SCHOOL, THEN MUM AND/OR DAD HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO FORBID THEM FROM ENGAGING IN CASUAL SEX IN MUM AND DAD’S HOME. dON’T FORGET CONTRACEPTION can FAIL (OR “FORGOTTEN” ABOUT) AND MUM AND DAD WILL HAVE TO DEAL WTIH ANY FALLOUT WHEN THAT HAPPENS OR WHEN IT ALL ENDS AND SOMEONE IS NURSING A BROKEN HEART. .
Thank you for your opinion. My son is now 27 and still with said girlfriend, no children, both have successful careers and happy together in there own home. Would I do it differently if I was to do it again, no I dont think I would.
Absolutely disgusting no wonder the world is in the state it is.
Thank you for your opinion. My son is now 27 and still with said girlfriend, no children, both have successful careers and happy together in there own home. Would I do it differently if I was to do it again, no I dont think I would.