My son’s 13th Birthday is only one day away, so I was fully aware that times would change and that I would be the mum of 2 teenagers. I was not however expecting the changes to come just so quickly and for my sweet kind hearted 12 year old little boy to be replaced with a hormone fuelled grunting mini man overnight! I mean it only feels like two minutes since he started school.
The changes acted out like a scene in a Hollywood movie, very over the top and impossible to believe. My 12 year old son went to school one morning and when I returned to collect him from the school gates and although it may well be me, but he just looked so different. OK, logically I know he is the same child I walked into school the same morning, but he just looked like a year 10 rather than a year 8 pupil.
He looks so grown up! I never quite realised the change from pre-teen to teen could happen so quickly. Had I been walking around with my head in the clouds for the last few months or was it that his changes have happened almost overnight.
Pre-Teen to Teen Warning Signs I missed
These are the warning signs I missed. My son has developed greasy skin with the odd outbreaks of spots. Jake has always been one for being a massive conversationalist in fact I love how he speaks so passionately about topics he like, alas this has now been replaced by. He also used to sit with us on an evening, which he still does from time to time, but hibernating in his bedroom with his feet up and a game controller in his hand, only making an appearance when he can smell food seems to becoming the norm these days. It breaks my heart to see that my little boys have changed so much and I miss them both being toddlers so much it hurts sometimes.
Pre-Teen to Teen Second time around
I have an older son Lewis who is now 18, so you would think I would have been prepared for these sudden hormone changes. How wrong was I to expect both of my boys to grow in the same way, they are like chalk and cheese. My eldest son seemed to change over a period of time, showing a glimpse of puberty with all the usual pre-teen to teen changes such as greasy hair, spots, lack of conversation and an inability to leave his room. OK, that is similar but like I say I just did not notice the change like I have in Jake.
You hear stories of boys voices breaking, going from a high pitched squeal to a deep mature sound over a number of months or years. What I did not expect was for this change to happen to my 12 year old during a School day! Where had this new voice just sprung from and why couldn’t I have had some warning. To say I was freaked out was an understatement
During the same evening I actually thought it was my 18 year old son who replied back when I shouted “Dinner Time.” The voice that came back from his bedroom was surely not my sweet, softly spoken little boy who replied “Coming” but it was.
Who is that singing in his room?
The biggest and weirdest moment came when he was singing in his bedroom. He is now singing with an amazingly deep tuneful voice, one I did not recognise and that brought tears to my eyes.
My son normally had a very high, angelic, choir boy voice although, his new singing voice matched his 5ft 8 inch frame. As I stood there listening it felt like there was a stranger behind my sons bedroom door. His voice is not dipping in and out of this new deep tone, It has just changed and seems to be staying for keeps. He will be giving Tom Jones a run for his money soon ha!
Puberty has made his moods change frequently and without warning. Me and my son both seem confused by his up and down mood swings and you van see the battle with his mood changes are painfully visible as he apologises for being snappy at times.
If all these pre-teen to teen changes are quite apparent to me, then what hormone changes and effects must be going on inside his body. He is forming his own personality away from me and beginning to develop his own thoughts and strong opinions.
It’s always hard for a mother to watch her children grow. I am super proud of both of my sons and although I hate that they are growing up so fast I can not wait tot see what there future has in store. No matter what they achieve in life I will be proud of them for at very least trying and knowing my two boys quite well they certainly are triers. Maybe I should write a letter to them both a little like this Mum did to her Pre-Teen Daughter, it seems she may be going through similar changes.
So In between the Kevin and Perry style moans and groans I try to remember this is just a part of life we all go through and Jake will always be just like my eldest son, my sweet innocent little boys.
Is anyone else feeling the same? I would love to hear your thoughts, should this be making me feel upset or not.
I’m the same, with my last baby just turned into a teen (we must have had them about the same time). I’ve now got three teens in the house and I do find myself getting upset at times at how quickly they are growing up.
Jane It’s an awful feeling having to let go and watch them grow up. I feel a little lost without tiny feet walking around the house and keeping me on my toes like they used to. I bet you have your work cut out with three teens in the house, I particularly enjoy spending an hour trying to wake the eldest one up “NOT”. I also get quite upset sometimes, but then one of them does something that Is really needy of me and that makes me a little happier. X
I have a 13 year old son and an 11 year old son yet it is the younger one who is exhibiting far more “Kevin” signs, both in terms of physical teenage symptoms and mood swings. That has certainly caught me out. I am proud that both are growing up but my babies are leaving me!
It really does catch you out doesn’t it! Why can we not get some warning. I do feel bad for them as allsorts must be going on inside them, sometimes I forget how mixed up he might feel as well as me.My baby has left me and gone to Barcelona for two weeks without me and I miss him so much. He may be 18 but I still think of him as my little boy!
Hi Rach, you’re entitled to feel the way you do, but take it from someone who was there not so long ago, I hated it when my mum or dad used to bring up the fact that I was going through “changes”. If you’ve already been there with your eldest, hopefully you will be better prepared for what lies ahead 🙂
Adam, I will take that advice on board. I don’t really point out I see the changes happening, but sometimes I think they may see the shock on my face. I suppose it’s a learning curve with each child because they are so different.
I have two adult kids now, a teenager and 2 younger kids. I can’t even believe two of my children are young adults; where did all the time go? I feel like everything’s just whizzed past me and my mind set is still of a time from six or seven years ago when they were teenagers.
It does go so,so quickly! I know everyone says that but this year when my eldest son got his voting card and then went to Barcelona without me ( he is still there) I realised he is a man now. I don’t really think I like to believe that as to me he is still my little boy! Thanks for your lovely message.
Oh, I’m dreading it. Let them stay sweet and little forever. I don’t think it’s quite dawned on me yet that I’m raising a man, not just a baby boy.
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I completely know how you feel. My son has a girlfriend who is everything to him. Even though I know it is wrong it makes me as a Mum feel a little jealous, like I am loosing him to someone else.
AH yes, the teenage years. I have two daughters and am told it’ll hit my household harder by more experienced parents. Sounds like you boy has een hit with a rush of hormones in one go. Think it was more steady for me. Hope the modd swings don’t get too wild. #BrilliantBlogPosts
Me too! We have just spent a lovely week together and he was back to his old self. I do feel bad for him as all sorts must be going on inside his body that I just cannot really understand. Why don’t they give us all these details in a handbook when they are babies!
As mum of 2 small boys I am dreading this stage I want them to be small and sweet forever!!
Me too! It’s hard when you get replaced by a girlfriend and they are now the most important person in their life. I feel like I have been cast aside.
My daughter recently turned 13, so I totally get this, although in slightly different ways. My 3 year old son however will no doubt follow this route – luckily I have another 10 years to prepare myself for the shock! #brilliantblogposts
I don’t know which is worse a girl or boy becoming a Teen! I remember me as a Teen, I was an awkward nightmare, so dark and depressing!
so glad I read this, I have a 14 year old who sounds exactly the same, I find it hard sometimes adjusting to this phase and miss my chatty child heaps. Its good to know he’s normal though. popping over from Briilliant Blog posts
Thanks for your lovely message, glad to know it is normal! I miss my little one too, yet not enough to have another one! I do still get times when he comes back to me and we have just spent a week of the school holidays where we reconnected and he was his chatty self again.
My eldest Fin is 11 in July and he is so like a Kevin at times already, if tell him off I get grunts, I wouldn’t let him have chewing gum….he ‘had f-ing no life’…charming! But at the same time he suddenly has an understanding of how I am feeling and is the first to hug me if I’m having a rubbish day.
Maybe maturing isn’t so bad after all…plus he can carry more shopping bags now he’s had yet another growth spurt!
Stevie xx
It’s hard isn’t it! I feel bad for them as they must have so many changes going on inside their body.It’s hard for the parent and the Teenager. It’s lovely when they can still give you a hug, I hope that never stops.
Oh hun, I feel for you. My eldest son is 10 years old, he goes up to Secondary School in September and I can already see the slight changes. I’m scared for the future changes. I hope you find the answers, and if you do could you pass along some advice? 🙂 xx
Wow, this feels like such an eternity away for me. My sons are nearly 3 and a half and nearly 2. But I’m certain that the years will fly and I’ll have a couple of ‘mini-men’ on my hands in no time.
I actually remember being a teenager, and although I didn’t do much grunting (on the account of not having a breaking voice!), I did a lot of retreating to my room at all times other than using the loo or eating.
I’m kind of hoping that my vivid memories of teenhood will prepare me for appropriate communication with my teenagers… i.e. not peeing them off too much or annoying them, whilst maintaining approachability and support for them. Ambitious, I know.
Good luck with it. Sounds like times are changing for you.
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Thanks for your comment. I remember as a teen I had my dad paint my room including ceiling and door Black.I had black and white athena style posters on the wall and glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. I was very deep and just wanted to be on my own! Having two teen boys at home can be a challenge, when they do come out of there rooms they are lovely, good boys and I am very proud of them.
The thought of my little boy one day growing up to be a teenager and then a man actually breaks my heart. I definitely need to cherish the moments when he’s still asking me to watch everything he does. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp